The Pharmacy(tm)

Talking about intentions, it’s an interesting oxymoron to think in the negative. This doesn’t necessarily mean thinking bad things, more of thinking non-things.

Like, you can say:

I’m not fat.

The brain actually does not interpret this properly, and ends up thinking of the word fat in order to understand it. However, consider a statement phrased in the affirmative:

I’m thin.

This merits instant recognition and registers immediately as a concrete thought.

Splitting more hairs, Doc? Not quite. Because actually the whole idea about intending something is being aware of the object or goal of the intention. As in the previous example, when you embark on a diet or exercise program, you don’t intend to be not fat, but you can intend to be thin.

This seems like second nature, until you realize how uncommon affirmative thinking really is. Like when religious people pray, as is often the case, they are asking for emancipation or deliverance from something. You can, as part of the prayerful, ask that your dear old uncle suffering from Type 1 diabetes finally recover from his death spiral.

However (regardless to what deity you are lifting your prayer to), in asking for that prayer, do you in fact see your dear old uncle as healed and whole from his ailment? Or do you still see him as he is now: bedridden, extremeties suffering from sores, unable to heal properly, in constant pain, and requiring a bitch of an insulin shot every so often? A safe bet is its the latter.

We pray in the negative–which, as our brain unable to interpret the intention, focuses on the specific object being wished away, rather than the opposite.

Your prayer to remove your uncle’s diabetes actually crystalizes the diabetes ailment in your mind. The implications? We’ll get to that shortly. Now dear old uncles aside, most people do their praying and wishing in a similar way: looking at the negative rather than the affirmative.

Now the result: provocatively, since the intention to negate focuses on the idea being negated, it actually reinforces it. Your thoughts call even more attention and strength to the thing you wished away. This isn’t supposed to be interpreted as rocket science though, nor is it a lame attempt to get into pseudo-religious discourse, but admittedly it does makes a very convenient and convincing proxy to the catch-all argument:

“God works in mysterious ways.“

Since your brain and by association your prayer (if applicable) is on the idea you are wishing away, that’s what happens and manifests. By praying for your uncle to recover from diabetes, the diabetes remains in force and gets stronger. Your intentions and prayers are getting answered, in not quite the way you thought or understood.

Like smiling is easier than frowning, affirming is much easier than negating. Why the absurd bias?

Can’t say actually. Although at this point, it’s also easier said than done if one has been used to negating everything around them in the first place.

Rather than wishing your uncles to not be sick, wish your uncles to be well.

Rather than wishing to not be fat, with to be thin.

Rather than wanting to not let go, wish to belong.

And so on and so forth.

At this point, it’s interesting to bring up the stories of people I know who might need a little crash course in affirmation. And, yep you guessed it, like so many interesting stories in this blog, these anecdotes are about women. Just for differentiation (and a little fun), let’s call them by some popular actress’ names: Jessica Alba, Keira Knightley, and Rachel Weicz. All women should be in their late twenties by the time I write this. Very attractive and ambitious career women in their own rights who work in top jobs in multinational corporations. However this is where their similarities end.

+++++++++++++

Jessica Alba has been having a rough time of it lately. She landed a wonderful and strategic position in her company in the last year and had been deeply involved in a product launch that was supposed to take place in late 2007, but for one reason or another, and through no apparent fault of her own, kept moving and moving and moving. One thing after another caused the delays and sullied not only her credibility but especially that of her bosses. On one particularly hellish day, the head of her department called Jessica into his office to get a quick update on the goins on, with the product launch barely days away. Jessica gave her boss a rundown of the project-turned-fiasco, when finally the boss told Jessica to her face that she wasn’t fit to hold her job and he wanted her out of their department one way or another.

That was two months ago. Since then, after the product launch, Jessica keeps a low profile. And despite the growing incidence of backbiting in her immediate office feels helpless that she was deprived of the chance to show her worth. Of course it’s never the end of the world for corporates like Jessica–jobs and projects are a dime a dozen, but the experience has sapped her of her drive.

Jessica’s prayer is simple: I don’t want to be here anymore. She has been saying this for four months already.

+++++++++++++

Keira Knightley is a highly driven executive consultant. She’s a cosmopolitan girl, always updated on her fashion sense, the latest buzz, and the places to be in. Keira’s professional life has been nothing short of flawless. Her projects are done well and mostly on time. She’s an effective manager, and keeps her bosses happy. This is pretty much inline with what Keira had been doing all her life–even back in school, Keira was mostly a straight “A”s kind of girl.

Keira’s poison? Let’s call him Zak Efron. Zak Efron is Keira’s old flame from college. Quite the opposite of straight-A’s Keira, Zak is a “come-as-you-are” kind of fellow. Although he’s quite updated in his own way with the pop culture of their generation, Zak is really more of a “sup?” kind of guy who hangs around anywhere, occasionally with Keira, ever since they broke up years ago. Keira and Zak meet up regularly, to catch up on old flames, and usually to end up arguing over some little thing that occurred or never occurred years ago. Sometimes, things get a little “steamy” in between, but this has been their game for some time now.

However, Zak is himself living with another girl: call her Ashley Olsen. And they not only share the same house, but the same bed (most of the time, when they’re not at war). Ashley is nothing like Keira, which suits Zak just fine, as he switches between them like underwear (Ashley being the daily-and-over-the-weekend boxers, while Keira is the occasional jockey brief). Keira and Ashley, although not openly objecting, are also aware of each other’s presence (they’re smart girls both of them). However, their focus in on Zak, because Zak is such killer of ladies.

Keira’s prayer and is simple: I don’t want to share the pedestal with anyone. She has been saying this for nearly nine years already.

+++++++++++++

Rachel Weicz has been quite busy doing what she does best: her work. Although known as a spontaneous and bubbly individual by those who know her, Rachel has slowly gone through a transformation, that even she is afraid to admit. Back in college, Rachel was already quite a sensation, being one of the “lookers” on campus. Although her calm demeanor and demure looks belie a love-life that’s quite a roller-coaster to those who know.

Going on her fourth (or is it fifth?) boyfriend now, Rachel’s had the full stretch of love-hate arguments. Already closing on her thirties, there’s just one question that Rachel would rather face tons of work for than hear:

“So did he propose already?”

The “he” in Rachel’s life, is an ambitious young guy. Let’s call him Meester T. Meester T is currently abroad finishing his grad studies. Although he and Rachel have met up over the years, seems Meester T has been growing more and more distant and tentative every time Rachel sees him. In their last meeting, it was like Rachel was talking to a different man. The truth that Rachel fears is that Meester T’s feelings and priorities might be changing without him telling. Meester T is quite the prideful and ambitious person, and although he never tells Hillary to her face, everyone knows Rachel’s blessing and her curse: she’s been a trophy girlfriend all her life.

Which makes the current sketch of now quite unnerving. Although Meester T’s school is soon to end in the next 18-24 months, Rachel and T have not come to terms with the question of marriage quite convincingly. Add to that the unfortunate reality, that most of Rachel’s close friends have tied the knot recently, and some of them already have children or are on the way. The trophy girlfriend, once the envy of the group is now lagging quite behind.

Rachel’s prayer is simple: I don’t want to wait forever. She’s been saying this for going on four years already.

+++++++++++++

Intentions, quite a bitch. They can set you free to achieve your goals, or trap you in a living hell that you didn’t realize already exists.

You don’t know this because you intended it. It’s a very clever distraction isn’t it?